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How to choose the perfect bridal party

Updated: Mar 26, 2022

How to choose the perfect bridal party

Choosing the perfect bridal party can be a difficult task, but with these tips and tricks, you'll be able to find your dream team. What do you want from your friends? Do they need to be able to dance well? Can they throw a great bachelorette party for you? It's important that everyone has skills that will make them an asset to the wedding day. But most importantly, remember that all of these choices should come from what makes YOU happy as opposed to what others think you "should" do!

Here are six questions you should consider when choosing your bridal party.

  1. Do you want to have a bridal party at all?

  2. If so, how many people should be in your bridal party?

  3. Who will pay for everything?

  4. What is the best way to choose who will be in your bridal party?

  5. How will you ask your bridal party?

  6. What if they say, no?

Do you want to have a bridal party at all?

No bridal party - what I mean is sure have your cheer squad getting ready and for photos and speeches and partying, but have you thought of just you two during the ceremony? Letting your cheer squad take a front-row seat with your nearest and dearest so they can be truly present too?

So many couples these days are opting not to have a bridal party at all, and I tell you what, it is so intimate and personal and so real! Just the two of them standing there, in the moment, with each other.

Some couples are still having the bridal party, but they are seated in the front rows so that it is the couple only standing. Also WOW!

Other couples couldn't imagine not having their favourites standing beside them, so this is a personal decision and only yours to make.

If you aren't having a bridal party, you might consider having some or all of your guests in a specific colour or clothing theme, which makes for some pretty spectacular photos.

If so, how many people should be in your bridal party?

It really just depends on you and your fiance. Some people want a huge bridal party, and others don't.

Some considerations when choosing how many people you should have in your bridal party are:

  • the ceremony space - how many will actually fit into the space?

  • how many guests are we having verse how many in the bridal party?

  • do we want even numbers - and does this mean we are picking people just to fill a spot?

  • how much can we afford (if you are paying for everything) - there is the attire and footwear, the hair or makeup, accommodation, transport, the list goes on...

Who will pay for everything?

The dreaded money word. A serious discussion that has to be had. Traditionally the bridal party wouldn't pay for anything, but I think today, people are more open to contributing to your wedding. But make sure that you set this expectation from the beginning and communicate this with your bridal party when you ask them.

Alternatives to paying for everything might include:

  • Set a realistic budget and stick to it.

  • Advise your bridal party that we the couple are paying for example, "the outfit, the hair and makeup and the transport, and we ask that you wear your own shoes and pay for your own accommodation".

  • Could the bridal party make their own transport arrangements to the venue?

  • Does the bridal party need to stay with you the night before to get ready?

Whatever you decide, communication is vital here. Communication with your partner and communication with your bridal party.

What is the best way to choose who will be in your bridal party?

The people you choose to be in your bridal party should reflect how important they are to you - who you would call upon if it was an emergency, someone special from your childhood or a friend or family member that has been there for you through thick and thin. Just don't get caught in the trap of "they had me as their bridesmaid or groomsman, so I need to ask them". Remember it's your day!

How will you ask your bridal party?

Will it be with a fancy bridesmaid or groomsman box, will it be skywriting or a simple text?

However you choose to ask your bridal party, remember why you want them standing next to you on the day and what they mean to you, so make it count! Are they overseas or living in the next suburb - can you drop over to them or do you need to schedule a time to video call them? The best "bridal party proposes" come from the heart and that's you asking them face to face.

What if they say, no?

It might happen! Before you respond or even ask them, please take a couple of minutes to think of why they might say no. Is it the financial burden? Is it that they have so much going on in their personal lives that they can't dedicate this time to you and respect the seriousness, the time and the energy that their role needs? Whatever the reason, you will want to have a conversation with them to understand and respect their decision. And this doesn't mean that they don't love and adore you; it might just mean that they can't be 1000% committed.

So in keeping it real, here are my six top tips for choosing your bridal party.

  1. When choosing your wedding party, make sure to include people who will be there for the long haul.

  2. Consider their feelings and how they may feel about being in a bridal party - it can be an honour or a burden (financial).

  3. Choose someone who will bring something different to the table – this might mean that they have a unique personality or skillset or you just couldn't imagine your day without them!

  4. Keep it small and real.

  5. Don't forget about those closest to you – if you don't want anyone else involved, then just do it on your own!

  6. Remember that all of these choices should come from what makes YOU happy as opposed to what others think you "should" do!

I hope this article on choosing your bridal party has been helpful and insightful! Remember to keep it small and real, don't forget about those closest to you, and choose someone who you couldn't imagine not being part of your day. If you need help choosing your witnesses, check out this blog for some awesome ideas.

Let me know in the comments below how you chose your bridal party!

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