The Secret to Writing Wedding Vows That Actually Sound Like You
- 1 day ago
- 4 min read
Can I tell you something I don’t say enough?
When I got married, it never crossed my mind that I could write my own wedding vows.
Not because I didn’t have things to say. I had sooooo many things to say. But I genuinely didn’t know it was an option. I thought vows came from a book. I thought the celebrant handled that part. Nobody told me I could just… say what I actually felt.
Here’s the part that gets me every time I think about it. I was becoming a stepmum that day too. And I wanted to say something to my stepsons. Something real, something that was just for them. When I mentioned it, my celebrant said, “Write them something.” So I did. I found the words for my boys without a second thought.
But it never once occurred to me to do the same for my husband.
We were talking about it the other night, and I said it out loud. Not writing my own vows is my biggest regret from our wedding day. And Paul looked at me and said, “Me too.”
Me too.
That’s why I do what I do.
That’s why Epic Wedding Vows exists.
And that’s why I’m writing this for you. Because I genuinely don’t want you to sit across from your person one day and say the same thing.
I share these because I want you to see what I couldn't see on my wedding day. The difference is right there in my face. You deserve to feel what I felt in photos 2, 3 and 6. Not photo 1 😉
The Blank Page Isn’t Your Problem
Here’s the thing nobody tells you about writing your wedding vows.
The blank page isn’t your problem. Your problem is thinking you have to sit down and write them all in one go. And sometimes two weeks before your wedding (or worse, the day before or even on the day - yup, it’s happened), and usually in a mild panic.
The secret to vows that actually sound like you - funny, heartfelt, completely unscripted-feeling - that’s not about being a good writer. But it is about you starting to collect your thoughts and words, long before you start to write.
Start a Little Love Letter Book (Today, Not Later)
Not a vow draft. Not a structure. Just a running collection of moments.
Here’s what to collect for your vows:
The little things.
The time they showed up with your favourite snack without being asked. The way they make your coffee is exactly right. The habit that drives you absolutely nuts, but you’d miss it immediately if it disappeared.
The big moments.
The time they showed up for you when everything fell apart. The moment you knew. The trip, the argument you got through, the thing that changed everything.
The feelings you can’t quite explain.
The thing they said that melted your whole heart. The way they look at you when they think you’re not watching. The feeling of knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
The funny stuff.
The inside jokes. The story that always gets told at dinner. The thing only the two of you would find funny.
Write it down. Voice memo it. Text it to yourself at 11pm. It doesn’t matter how - just capture it.
That’s not a vow yet. That’s the raw material of one.
Why This Actually Works
When couples sit down to write their vows, they almost always write something generic. Not because they don’t feel deeply (because they feel everything), but because they’re trying to access emotion under pressure, and that’s really, really hard.
When you’ve been quietly collecting for weeks or months or even years? You show up to the page with your whole relationship already documented. Specific, real, and entirely yours. The kind of vows that make your partner laugh one minute and reach for tissues the next.
Your vows are the only part of your entire wedding day that no one else can replicate. Your heart.
Those words deserve more than a panic session the week (or night) before.
So, When Do You Actually Write Them?
You’ll know. When you look at your little collection and start seeing themes, patterns, and the shape of your love story. That’s when you’re ready.
Give yourself 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding to draft your vows. But start collecting your thoughts today. Yes, today. Even if your wedding is two years away.
Ready to Start YOUR Vow Writing Journey?
If you’re at the very beginning of your vow-writing journey, maybe your wedding is months or even years away, I’d love to invite you to join me in the 30 Day Love Letter Journey. It’s a guided way to start collecting the moments that matter, so that when the time comes to write, you’re not starting from nothing. You’re starting from everything.
And if your wedding is close and the blank page feels very, very real right now, my Epic Wedding Vows guided experience is exactly what you need. I’ll walk you through the whole thing, step by step, so your vows end up sounding like YOU, not like something you Googled or AI-generated at midnight.
You can write your own vows. I’m here to make sure you know that.
Wherever you’re at, I’ve got you. ❤️
xx Kerri
About Kerri Watkins Celebrant
Kerri Watkins is a celebrant and vow whisperer based on Moreton Island, Queensland. She has been helping couples say I do with love, laughter, and words that are completely their own since 2008. Whether you’re eloping on the beach or gathering your favourite people, Kerri believes the ceremony, and the vows, are always the heart of the day.
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